Photos: Angela Petrovska
Written 9/03/2018:
As a female, I constantly hear criticism. I'm compared to other girls on the daily, even when it's not pointed directly at me. "So and so is so hot, she's got perfect curves" is something I've heard a handful of times from guys around me, which obviously makes me think about how I'll never look even remotely close to that previously mentioned girl. It's only human to compare, it's in our nature, our way of thinking. Even though I like to think that I've accepted myself for who I am, I still can't shake that feeling of not looking good enough, or not being good enough.
This is what made me think about the following statement: Why is it that we allow our self-image to be dictated by society? With crappy comments that only objectify women and end up turning us against each other.
Instead of praising a girl for what she looks like, and loving her imperfections - we allow negativity to overtake our minds and make everything a competition.
As I type this I realize I'm touching a sensitive subject, one that makes me tear up. Because I'm writing this from my personal point of view, I can only speak for myself - but I know that other women feel this way too. We'll never look perfect because even when we try to achieve perfection we realize that it's not worth it. At the end of the day, others will continue to compare you, even when you've stopped caring a long time ago.
Written 30/09/2018 :
I know what part stood out to you from the text above. Why I let people dictate the way I see myself and let it affect my self-esteem.
Everything and I mean EVERYTHING is dictated by outside factors. No matter how much self-love and self-respect you have, even the strongest can be brought down by the simplest of comment. And that doesn't make you weak, that makes you human. Some people don't care what others think at all, and although that sounds like a blessing, it's not how you should look at every aspect of your life.
The sooner we accept this as a natural way of thinking, the sooner we'll learn not to take it so personally and to continue living.
I've been "skinny" my whole life. I got that gene from my mother's side of the family, so basically I've been hearing "Oh my god you're so skinny, do you even eat?" since the day I was born. I'm not going to go into detail about my dietary preferences, nor am I going to defend myself for being naturally thin. With that being said, I think It's really shitty to bring a person down because of something that's out of their hands and it's something that they struggle with. Just like people who struggle to lose weight, gaining it isn't that easy for a person with naturally fast metabolism. My point isn't to make excuses or to justify, just to shed light on a taboo topic that's often overlooked and, in fact, not talked about enough.
Written 30/09/2018 :
The approach I took with this post is different to the others. I decided to talk about a sensitive subject, baring one part of myself out into the open. That's the same thing I wanted to achieve with the photos - to show a part of me that makes me extremely insecure and takes me out of my comfort zone. The way these photos look, what I'm wearing, my expression. Nothing is meaningless. Just like every word I've written about anything and everything.
Written 27/09/2018 :
This post took me months to make. Some words came earlier, some later. It started out as a concept in my head, an idea of what I could do one day when I had enough courage. Today, I still don't have the courage but I'm posting this either way.
Why? The answer is simple - I'm not entirely sure. I reached a point of truly understanding the concept of everything having a bigger purpose, one that doesn't involve my ego or how comfortable I am with a situation. Today's post might bring up different emotions from everyone: some may flick through the photos, others may find themselves in my words. Of course, my goal isn't to have some pretty pictures do the talking, because sometimes that just isn't enough.
What is my goal? With the message I am trying to convey to all of you who've been reading up until this point, I hope everyone finds that bit of self-confidence that one day will take over your whole life because no other feeling can compare. And that is what I am trying to achieve, still, to this day.
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